We have previously spoken of the complexity of the communication process, and when used with groups the process is further complicated by what is often perceived as the two “competing” priorities in a group: tasks and relationships[1].
Based on Tannen’s ‘genderlect’ styles (see previous article ‘How Men and Women Communicate and Why’ task priorities can be considered a male concentration, while relationship priorities are female.
Task priorities are the mechanics. They address the questions, “What is our goal and when do we have to meet it?” Each element of the project, from who does what to what tools to use to what timeline to follow are situated here. Men in groups often find themselves entirely focused there. Women, on the other hand, view relationship priorities as very important. Those are group dynamics, how people are relating to one another, what the energy of the group is, and whether each person feels like they are a part of something.
Oftentimes the alternate focuses can come into competition. A task-oriented man may view the non-work-related conversation that his female team member is having as a waste of time. He may get frustrated and think he has to do the whole project by himself, leading to withholding information and refusing to co-operate. That same relationship-oriented woman may be surprised and troubled by his impersonal nature. She might consider his refusing to work with her as a reflection on her skills.
What these two don’t realise is that neither priority is more important than the other; in fact, effective groups must have both.
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