The Rules of the Game – from a feminine point of view.

One of the first things we realise when we start playing any sport is that we need to learn the rules before we get to play the game properly.

Someone whose behaviour during the game proves that they don’t know rules, or refuse to abide by them, will often be excluded from the team.  The rules of the game are there to ensure that everyone plays the same way; that no-one plays in such a way as to achieve an unfair advantage – and that the game proceeds exactly as expected.

And then comes  ... the maverick!  This is the player that breaks the rules to create a better and more attractive game.

A maverick like William Webb Ellis, who was playing soccer in 1823 when, in complete defiance of the rules picked up the ball and ran down the field ... and rugby was born.

Or a maverick like Christina Willes, the Victorian lady who changed the face of cricket forever. In 1805 while bowling to her brother,  the Kent player John Willes, Christina found the long skirts of her crinoline made bowling underarm (the normal way to deliver the ball) very difficult; and so invented a way of delivering the ball overarm.

The rest, as they say is history.

So what has this got to do with Gender differences you might ask?

Well, whether we understand it or not the workplace, the business or the public corporation is a man’s playground; and they invented the rules.

Traditionally, when our roles were starkly differentiated, the power on the public front was held by males, and the power on the domestic front was held by females and the rules that each played by were specific to the game that each played.

When society changed and more and more women moved into the workplace, we found that the rules of this game differed from the rules we were used to playing by in our game.

Now, if we were used to playing cricket and moved over to play rugby, surely we would not expect to use the rules we are familiar with – if we tried to do that we would create chaos!  If we were wise, we would study the rules of this new game and put them into practice, and then we could see where maybe some of our rules might be able to enhance and improve the game that we are now both playing together.

Christina Willes had learned the rules of cricket as they were at the time, she understood them well.  Her decision to change it was brought about by the circumstances that made it difficult for her to follow the existing rules, and so she devised a way to achieve the aim (bowling the ball to the batsman) by changing the rules.

Luckily for the future of the game, her brother John Willes was a very good batsman even with the difficulty of scoring against underarm bowling.  Facing an overarm ball he noticed that the ball came onto the bat much quicker, allowing him to deliver a much more powerful stroke; which made scoring runs much easier.

He embraced the new method with gusto, seeing the opportunity for batsmen, but diehard traditionalist fought against the changes – they were so very different to the way the game had been played .So it wasn’t until 1864 that overarm bowling was made legal!

And so with the workplace today – the culture of the boardroom, the saleroom or the backroom has been established through the years; the rules of the game have been created to reflect the strengths of men – the business world has been the men’s playground and the criteria that indicate success has been traditionally defined by what men define as success.  It is inevitable; it is an outcome of the history of society.

What is often overlooked is that the way we communicate indicates the rules we are used to.  The male game is factual, and action dominated; control and command dictate a direct style of communication that reflects their rules.  The female game is nurturing and relationship dominated; inclusiveness dictates an indirect style of communication which reflects our rules.

If we are to take our bat and ball and start to play the business game, we need to learn the rules of the game as it is now played – and only then can we bring new rules to the game which can enhance the ability of the team to win.

And the men that play the game also need to take the analogy on board.  Merely dismissing a different way of playing just because it is different, does not allow you to see the opportunity these changes may give you of hitting a competitor for six.  It took the dinosaurs of English cricket nearly sixty years to admit that the change created a more attractive game and legalise it. In today’s fast paced world we do not have the luxury of being able to wait that long. 

The work place is a hotbed of relationships – and relationships is women’s speciality, so by increasing the effectiveness of the workforce we might, just might, find ourselves increasing the effectiveness of the work place.

We both played our own game brilliantly; we knew the rules and used them to our advantage.  We are both now playing a slightly different game, and we are playing it in a very difficulty playing field; but by combining our strengths surely we can create a more effective game for the future with rules that we both understand.

So here's to the game!